


Slya & Ferinia

by sneakyroguethief



Series: Adventures in Aprea [1]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Aprea, F/F, High Fantasy, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-10-17 23:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakyroguethief/pseuds/sneakyroguethief
Summary: stories for my half-drow tiefling cleric Slya (previously called Astra) and her partner Ferinia(The chapters will always be in chronological order so the order they appear in may change)





	1. One rainy night

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't quite sure how to tag their relationship as since Slya is somewhere between feminine-fluid non-binary and transfeminine. She uses she or they pronouns.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra finds herself stranded in the mountainside district of Ironstone due to weather

Astra wandered through the Mountainside District of Ironstone in the dark, the wind picking up around her.  She didn’t know where she was going, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was supposed to be here. Lightning flashed across, momentarily blinding her as she wandered through the streets.  Her flowy clothing clung unpleasantly to her body with the rain. She needed to find somewhere, anywhere to stay at this point.

She saw light coming from beneath a door and knocked.  She clung as closely to it as she could to get out of the downpour as she waited.

There was shouting from inside.  She didn’t understand the language, but their tone seemed familial.  A few moments later, the door opened. A burly dwarven woman looked up at her.  Her gruff expression gave way to an intense flush on her light brown skin.

“M-may I come in?” Astra asked shakily.  A strong wind knocked her forward into the woman, who, as if upon instinct, caught her.

The woman gave her a charming smile.  “Of course,” she replied smoothly, “stay as long as you like.”

The voice that was shouting before came again, a rough-textured man’s voice in what Astra now assumed the language to be Dwarvish.

The woman helped Astra back to her feet before shouting back, closing the door behind them.  As she did, Astra was suddenly struck by how warm it was inside.

An older dwarven man emerged from a back room.  He had black smudges on his weathered face, arms, and a little in his otherwise well-kempt beard.   “Ah, and who do we have here?”

Astra bowed formally to him.  “I am Astra. My apologies for the intrusion, I was just seeking shelter from the storm.”

He looked to the woman who’d answered the door and was very clearly ogling their sodden guest.  He rolled his eyes at her before smiling warmly at Astra. “I am Onrik, and I see you’ve just met my daughter, Ferinia.  Welcome to our forge. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve got any dry clothes that will fit you,” he vaguely gestured to her lanky stature.

“--pshht clothes.  Who needs clothes?” interjected Ferinia almost dreamily.

Onrik continued as if uninterrupted, “--but you are more than welcome to stay.  We don’t have much, but we are more than happy to share.”

“Thank you, for your kindness and hospitality, Onrik and Ferinia.”  Her voice shook involuntarily. It was warm inside, but she was still completely soaked.  “I don’t so much need clothes. I have some spares to change into, but umm maybe a place to change would be nice? ”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Onrik cleared his throat. “F, can you show our guest upstairs?  I’m going back to the forge. Gotta finish that last order.”

Ferinia cocked her head toward a small stairway and smirked at Astra.  “Shall we?”

Astra nodded and followed behind, leaving a trail of water behind her.  “I am also sorry about the mess.”

Ferinia shrugged nonchalantly.  “Don’t worry about it. We make plenty of messes ourselves; maybe yours will help clean up ours.”  She pulled open a door on the right. “Here we are. This is my room. Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”  Ferinia lingered for a moment, staring at Astra. She glanced to the bed and bit her lip. “So, I’m gonna go help my pops in the forge.  I’ll be back in a little while if you need anything.” She turned to leave but paused with her hand on the door handle. “Or you could come find me if you _want_ anything,” she added hopefully before leaving Astra alone.

Astra chuckled in the silence and took in her surroundings as she changed into dry clothes.  On one wall was a bed, larger than Astra had expected for a single dwarf, and in fact, she had a sneaking suspicion that it would be large enough for the pair of them to share; and on the opposing wall were large metal bookcases that were so tall that they were nearly flush with the ceiling.  The bookcases were filled with tomes of various colours, thicknesses, and upon closer inspection, in a variety of languages. There were volumes of histories and mythologies, books of arcane practises and mechanics, and then at the very bottom of one of the bookshelves in the corner, an entire couple shelves dedicated to what looked to be smutty romance and erotica.  

As she bent to get a better look at Ferinia’s collection, she noticed strange indentations along the edges of the shelves and realised that Ferinia probably used them as footholds for her to climb up and down the bookcases.  She smiled at the clever innovation. She also noticed that in their sections all the books were sorted according to language, author, and topic alphabetically.

She hung up her wet clothes over the back of a metal chair to dry and sat down on the bed and looked out the small window over the head of the bed.  The storm didn’t seem to be letting up outside, so she might be stuck here for a brief time at least. There was a lingering feeling in the back of her mind.  It was like a breath of fresh air as tension fled from her body. She knew without any doubt that she was safe here. Perhaps the Traveller had intended this.

She considered getting better acquainted with Ferinia’s book collection, but given the fastidious nature of the filing system, Astra decided it might be wiser to ask first.  So she plod barefoot back down the stairs to find her host, following the sounds of metal hammering down on metal. The heat was sweltering in the forge, and she could see the pair of dwarves working on assorted weapons.

Astra leaned curiously against the doorframe and watched them at work.  The hammers seemed at home in their hands, their movements flowing as naturally as if they had been doing this all their lives.  She must’ve caught Onrik’s attention as his head gave a not-so-subtle twitch in her direction before continuing his work, and after a few moments, Ferinia put down her hammer and placed the sword she’d been working on a pile next to her father.  She tossed aside her apron and gloves and approached Astra, covered in sweat and soot.

“What can I do ya for?” she asked with an eager smile, projecting to be heard over the hammering and storm.  She stopped close enough for Astra to feel the aura of heat the flowed off her.

“Oh, I was just, um…” Astra stumbled over her words.  An unfamiliar sensation fluttered through her. “You have a nice collection of books,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing.

A fiery glimmer twinkled in Ferinia’s eyes, and without breaking eye contact, she called out to Onrik in Dwarvish again.  He grunted a reply, and Ferinia’s smile broadened into a grin. A sudden thought seemed to cross her face, and Ferinia held up a finger.  “One moment please!” She went to the corner where a bucket hung on a rope, and she pulled it and released a torrent of water on herself, which washed away any lingering soot from her.  In a combination of shaking off in a manner reminiscent of a dog and towelling herself off, Ferinia dried herself off to the best of her ability. She strode back to Astra and offered a hand to her.

Astra looked down at Ferinia’s hand and hesitantly took it.  It was covered in callouses worn smooth over time like a stone continuously beaten smooth by a river.  She didn’t know what Ferinia was expecting of her, and it made her nervous, but her rapidly beating heart held excitement as well.  Knowledge and new experiences were what They wanted from her, right?

Ferinia let out a quiet giggle.

“What?”

“It’s just books.  There’s no need to be nervous.”

“Nervous?” Astra laughed in an attempt to smother her anxieties.  “Why would you say that?”

Ferinia pointed with her free hand at Astra’s tail, which without prompting, was standing on end, tip twitching erratically.  Astra blushed and glared at it, causing Ferinia to burst out in laughter.

Astra took in a deep breath and tried to relax a little.  “Sorry, the _xsa_ thing has a mind of its own sometimes.”

Ferinia’s face lit up.  She drew her hand down, bringing Astra closer to her.  “That tongue, I don’t recognise it.”

Astra’s tail flicked about even more irritably as Astra blushed even more heavily.  She had relaxed too much around someone too perceptive. Anxiety rose up from the pit of her stomach.  Perhaps she had been wrong about the Traveller leading her here… Or perhaps she had interpreted the feeling wrong…

Thoughts clearly raced over Ferinia’s face as she put together the elongated ears, strange eyes, and indigo skin.

Before Ferinia had a chance to react to this realisation, Astra reached out with her magic and dimmed the flames in their small parlour, turning them a menacing shade of magenta.  She added her own rumble of thunder to the din of the storm outside and turned her own eyes pure black for effect.

Ferinia’s eyes widened.  But rather than pulling away in shock, she pulled Astra down into a kiss.

In her surprise, the effects of Astra’s Thaumaturgy vanished.

“You’re magic,” Ferinia stated excitedly once they’d parted.  

It wasn’t a long kiss, but Astra still felt slightly dazed by it.  She shook the haze from her head. “Yeah, and what of it?”

Ferinia’s voice dropped to an enthusiastic whisper, “It’s amazing!”

Astra just stared at her, utterly confused.  She’d been certain there were tomes about the arcane on Ferinia’s bookshelves, so why would she be so fascinated by a simple cantrip?  Unless… “You’ve got no magic then?”

“Nope.”  She continued taking them back up to her room once more.  “Even with as much study as I’ve done, I just… can’t. There’s no connection.”  She sighed and closed the door behind them. Her demeanour changed, confidence returning as they settled into her own space.  “Now, as hot as it was to see you do that stuff just a moment ago, maybe now you’ll tell me what language that was without freaking out?” she smirked over at Astra who’d taken a seat on the bed.

Astra laughed nervously.  “Infernal?”

Ferinia went over to her bookcase, climbed up the shelves, and selected a book.  She held it up for Astra to see. “Want to try that one again?” The cover read _A Guide to Summoning Circles_.  In Infernal.

_Vith._

“Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but you won’t find any judgements here.”  She turned to put the book back in its place, and her voice became barely audible and strangely delicate.  “Life is too short for that.” She climbed back down and sat by Astra on the bed, close enough that she could feel the heat that radiated off of Ferinia like a furnace.  When they were seated, there wasn’t all too much difference in their heights.

This time it was Astra who took Ferinia’s hand in hers, it shook slightly with her nerves.

“It is Undercommon, the language my mother first taught me, followed closely by this one.”

“And your mother, is she…?  Is she like you?” Ferinia pried carefully.

Astra’s head tilted back and forth.  Her earrings to jingled faintly with the movement, soothing her nerves slightly.  “Yes. And no. She doesn’t have the horns or tail, but she gave me the rest of my features as far as I know.  Which, unless I’m mistaken, you’ve figured out that those features, my mother’s features, are that of the Drow.”

“Yeah, I might have guessed,” Ferinia shrugged.  She bit her lip to keep from smirking. She was incredibly intelligent, and to have someone appreciate that was clearly satisfying.

“And that’s… okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”  Ferinia’s amber eyes focused so intently on her, making Astra blush once more.  “You wouldn’t mind teaching me, would you? In exchange for room and board?”

“That’s… more than fair,” Astra nodded.

Ferinia scooted off the bed and walked over to the bookcases again.  She stooped down to the bottom shelf in the corner and selected one. “And you’re more than welcome to read any of my books.  There’s even more downstairs. I was gonna set up a cot in the book room.”

“I’d hate to put you out of your own bed.  I can take the cot.”

Ferinia looked her over in amusement.  “You really can’t. The bed you’ll fit in, but the cot most definitely not.  And the room is… quite a bit smaller. I didn’t really think it through when I made those bookcases.  One of those ‘measure twice, cut once’ kind of things. But I learned my lesson with these.” She jerked her thumb back at the ones behind her.

“You _made_ all of these?!”

“Hell yeah, I did,” she said proudly.  “Also made the bed frame, the chairs… pretty much anything metal in the house, me ‘n pops did.  There’s not a whole lot of demand for that kind of stuff, but it’s sturdy enough for us not to break.  We can be a bit rough.” Ferinia’s eyes found Astra’s once more. There was a fire in them that had nothing to do with the lanterns in the room.  She tapped her book against her thigh and bit at her lip. “I should be going. You’re probably tired. I’ll… just be downstairs if you find yourself wanting of _anything._  House isn’t that big, I trust you’ll be able to find me.”  She winked and left.

Astra sat there on the bed for quite some time, frowning in confusion.  What was Ferinia doing? She seemed to be attracted to her, but she just… walked off.  Astra wondered if she was perhaps reading into things incorrectly. But… Ferinia seemed to be fairly straight forward about things and… not really that subtle.  Astra ran her hands through her long faded pink hair. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t understand.

Astra got up, and rather than going to find Ferinia, she went to see if Onrik was still awake.  She found him sitting in the small kitchen with a fresh pot of herbal tea. He gestured for her to join him.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked.

“Not as such, no.”

He chuckled.  “Have a cup of tea.  It’s good for the joints, or so says the local herbalist.”

Astra sniffed at the warm liquid.  “Your herbalist is correct. And from the smell, it should also help with sleep issues.”

“Are you some kind of herbalist yourself?”

“Just a traveller really.  I just know enough of the wilds to survive between towns is all.”

He nodded.  “I was surprised to find Ferinia in her nook.  I’d have figured you two to be… um… occupied for a while…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“Well, she told me to find her if-- but--” Astra rubbed her temples.  “She seemed one way, but-- I don’t know… then she just--” she gestured about, her tail mimicking the movements of her hands.

Onrik snorted into his tea.  “If I had to guess, I’d say she probably didn’t think that’s what you wanted, so she’s giving you the space to figure out what you do want without her influencing you.”

“Did she--?”

He shrugged, the exact motions of the gesture identical to Ferinia’s.  “We’re all each other has now. We don’t really talk about the soft things; we hammer those things out.”  There was a brief glimmer of sadness in his eyes. “But I know my girl pretty well at this point. And as much as I’d like her to find some nice dwarf, I’d rather see her happy, and gods know that apparently tall folks like yerself are what makes my girl happy,” he sighed and finished his tea.  “I’m going to bed. Sleep well.” He squeezed her shoulder comfortingly as he passed on his way up the stairs.

“Thank you, you as well.”  Astra sat there lost in thought until her tea was long cold, drained the cup, and then cleaned and returned the pot and cups to the cupboard.  She sleepily trod back up the stairs and collapsed in the bed.

Astra awoke in the late afternoon to a face-full of sunlight from the window that overlooked the bed.  She hissed and recoiled in pain, pulling the blanket up around her like a cloak to shield her eyes.

Ferinia stared up at her wide-eyed from where she’d been reading on the floor.  “Are you okay?”

Astra took a moment to let her eyes readjust under the blanket and nodded.  “Yeah, my eyes are just really sensitive. Another part of being Drow.”

Ferinia left her book and scrambled over curiously.  “Can you… pull the blanket back just a little, not like enough to hurt your eyes, but just to let a little light near them?”

Astra stared at Ferinia curiously but obliged her request.  She carefully moved the blanket just enough that her eyes began to water after a few seconds.  “Is that good?” she strained. It was too much. She closed her eyes again. “Would you mind doing something about the window please?”

“Definitely.  Hate to have you burning your eyes every time the sun came up.  I had a curtain before, but one of my last partners ripped ‘em down by accident, and I never got around to putting new ones up.”  The bed squeaked under Ferinia’s weight as she moved around. “All done.” She plopped down.

Astra opened her eyes again and looked around to find Ferinia sitting beside her, topless save for a cloth wrap covering her chest, and her dark blue shirt now hung on the curtain rod.  Astra’s cheeks tinged violet. She’d almost forgotten what it had felt like, having people being this comfortable around her.

Ferinia locked eyes with her, and Astra didn’t look away this time.  Ferinia’s eyes held such an intensity in them that Astra wondered if this was what it was like to stare into the sun, and with all her warmth, she seemed like she could be the sun incarnate.

Astra’s breath caught in her chest, and in that moment felt that there was only one way to catch it.  She cupped Ferinia’s cheek and leaned in to kiss her.

It was soft and gentle and lasted but a few seconds, and still, it left Ferinia with a huge grin on her face.

Ferinia’s grin turned to a smirk.  She lightly tapped Astra on the nose and then slid off the bed. She went to the small desk cramped in the corner at the other end of the bed and pulled out charcoal and a leaf of paper.  After about ten minutes, she held up the paper. On it were two renderings of Astra’s eyes. One had her usual black sclera and solid white pupilless irises, and the other was completely black except for a tiny white pinprick at the centre.  “Fascinating, isn’t it? It’s like the dark part of your eyes shields the sensitive part of your eyes by covering it as best it can.” Ferinia handed Astra the paper, wiped the remnants of the black dust on her shorts, and went back to the book she’d left on the floor.

Astra stared at it a few moments before placing it back on the desk.  She watched Ferinia, seemingly content to sit and read on the floor.

“There’s food downstairs if you’re hungry,” Ferinia told her without looking up.

“Maybe later.” Astra unfurled from the blankets and laid down on the ground next to Ferinia, peering over at the thick book she was reading.  It was written in Sylvan and appeared to be a historical tome.

“Just a little light reading until another order comes in.  Dad’s got the shop manned, so I just hang out unless someone needs some muscle.”

“Muscle?”

“I do odd jobs, merc work, and whatnot.  Pays for my habit,” she winked and jerked a thumb at the bookcases.

“I see.  So… is this how you spend your free time then?”

“Mostly.  Unless you’ve got _something else_ in mind?”  Ferinia rolled onto an elbow to face her.

“Oh, I just meant like were these your only hobbies or…?” Astra trailed off awkwardly.

“I know what you meant,” Ferinia smirked.

Astra blushed and poked her in the stomach with her tail.

“Hey!” Ferinia laughed.  “You asked for my hobbies, and it’s pretty much just reading and fucking.”

Astra snorted.  “ _A l'drathir lu'slyannen_ !  My _i’ssuri_ would have a fit over that type of language.”

Ferinia’s eyes lit up again, and she scooted closer.  “Well, what’re your hobbies then?”

“Dancing, knitting, crochet--”

“Those aren’t the same thing?”  Ferinia’s devilish grin gave way to giggles as she got poked with Astra’s tail again.

“So, what is it you do for a living?”

“A little bit of this and that.  Shadier inns usually don’t mind taking in someone like me for work.  Sometimes I sell the things I make.”

Ferinia nodded.  She felt like there were things Astra wasn’t saying but decided against prying it out of her.  “So, what was that you said a minute ago?”

Astra chuckled, “Oh, ‘by the moon and stars.’  It’s just something my _i’ssuri_ used to say when I would exasperate her.  And _i’ssuri_ is mother.”

Ferinia closed her book, and with it, the warmth of her expression closed off into something cold and cautious.  “I’m going to grab some food. How about I bring some up for you and you can start teaching me Undercommon while we eat?”

“Sure.”

While Ferinia’s library was open to Astra, it would seem that she herself wasn’t going to be quite the open book.  She hoped she’d get the time to know her as well.


	2. First goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra can't ignore her deity's callings anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The term of endearment Astra uses for Ferinia is "Dear One" in Drow/Undercommon

Astra could feel the Calling growing louder and louder in her mind, so much so that she could barely hold focus on anything else.  The subtle nudge in her mind had become fully formed words.

_It’s time.  Go. Learn. Explore.  See._

She knew she couldn’t resist the commands of her deity, especially when They were being so very direct in Their instructions.  

Three months had passed since she’d arrived at Ferinia’s, and for once, she hesitated.  She hadn’t gotten to spend that long in any one place since she’d come of age. She had known this day would come.  It had to. Unless the Traveller had no more use for her. And no matter how much she didn’t want to leave Ferinia’s side, there was no greater dread in her heart than the thought of being abandoned by her deity.  She just hoped Ferinia would understand.

There was a clarity in her mind as her resolve solidified.

Astra gently stroked Ferinia’s muscular arm.  “F, _d’anthe uss_ …” she murmured gently.  Ferinia shifted in her sleep and pulled Astra into her.  Astra couldn’t help but smile though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  “F, please wake up.”

Ferinia groaned and began to stir.  “Slya? What’re you doing up? What’s wrong?”

“The one who led me here needs me to go.”

“But I don’t want you to go,” Ferinia pouted.

Astra cupped her face, “I know.  I’ve put it off as long as I could.”

“Can’t you just--” her jaw set in a hard line, already knowing the answer.

“Would that I could, _d’anthe uss_.”

“I know.”  Ferinia put a hand against Astra’s bare chest, over her heart.  Her amber eyes flashed like fire in the darkness. “Come back to me.”

Astra smiled, this time more genuinely, and she nodded.  “I will.”

Ferinia smirked and snaked her hand up and around Astra’s neck.  “I know you’ve gotta go, but there’s no reason why you can’t leave in the morning.  Besides, you can’t go without saying goodbye to dad.”

“I suppose you’re right.”  Astra could see exactly where F was going with this.

“Then you’ve got a couple hours to spare.”  She gently pulled Astra back down on top of her.

“And what if I’m too tired to travel by the time you’re done with me?” Astra retorted, brushing Ferinia’s long curly auburn hair out of the way.

“Sounds like a personal problem to m--,” F muttered, her words fading into moans of pleasure before she could finish her sentence.  She let Astra take the lead.

Astra had a good sense of rhythm, but Ferinia was far more experienced and confident in bed.  In their time together, Astra’s confidence and comfort in being physical with another person had grown immeasurably.

Sunlight glowed through the knitted curtains that hung over Ferinia’s window as they finished.

“After that, you probably need some sleep, huh?” F commented breathlessly, pulling her cup of water towards her.  

Astra took it from her grasp before she could take a sip and drained half of it before giving it back.  “All according to plan then?” She lay back and tried to keep her emotions in check. Crying would only make this harder for the both of them.

F set the empty cup back down and curled into Astra’s side.  “One more day?”

Astra sighed, “Okay.  One more day.” She held Ferinia close, memorising her curves, her heat, her voice.  She didn’t know when she would see her again, but she knew she would return to her.


	3. Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra returns to Ferinia after being gone for nearly a year

Astra clutched the strap of her travel bag tightly as she walked through the dark streets.  She couldn’t suppress her nervous energy as she neared the small smithy where Ferinia and her dad lived and worked.  

What if F had already moved on…?  It had been almost a year since she’d seen her.  A tiny thought crept into the back of her mind, wondering if she hadn’t been allowed to come back until now because she hadn’t wanted to leave the last time.  Would the Traveller really do that though? They had taught her plenty of hard lessons before, but surely this wasn’t one of them, surely there were other reasons that she had been sent away for so long…

Astra tried to assuage her fears as she approached the door.  Her breath caught in her throat as she held up a hand to knock.  She could hear laughter and chatter inside. F and Onrik were probably eating dinner.  Maybe she should wait. She turned, and one of the straps on her bag snagged the door handle.  She lurched forward and the strap that was slung across her chest caught her in the throat.

_ Xsa ol. _

She coughed and wheezed, and from behind her, she felt a swift rush of heat as the door opened behind her.  A pair of strong arms pulled her inside from behind, and Ferinia kicked the door close, pivoting without letting go of her grip on Astra.

“Slya!” she growled excitedly.

“F, you might let her go so she can put her stuff down and return your affections properly,” Onrik piped up from the kitchen table.

Ferinia begrudgingly released Astra’s waist, and Astra managed to catch her breath as she put her bag down on a chair.

Joy swelled up inside Astra’s chest as she knelt and placed her forehead to Ferinia’s.  Their hands wove into each other’s hair as they stood there, the rest of the world fading away.  Tears fell unbidden down Astra’s dark freckled cheeks. Ferinia’s quiet laughter broke the silence, the sound like the soft crackle of a campfire, and Astra began to giggle as well.  

Ferinia’s fingers brushed the tears from her cheeks.  They felt just the same as Astra remembered, warm, calloused, and strong with a delicate, controlled touch.

Onrik cleared his throat.  “Slyan’ssun, would you care for anything to eat?  There’s hot stew.”

“Thank you, I’m alright.  I ate on the road.” Astra blushed, rose to her full height and turned to face him.  Ferinia’s hand remained connected to her, resting on her lower back just above her tail.

He frowned in a familiar manner, an expression that meant he didn’t think she ate enough, but he knew it was an argument not worth having from the times he tried to get her to eat more when she’d lived with them previously.

“Who knows?  She might work up an appetite,” Ferinia grinned devilishly, her amber eyes lit up with desire, and threw Astra’s bag over her shoulder.

“I’ll see y’all in the morning then,” Onrik got up from the table and squeezed Astra’s arm affectionately before cleaning up.  “It is good to see you again, Slyan’ssun.”

“And you as well.”  Once Astra was certain Onrik’s back was turned to them, she lightly smacked Ferinia on the ass with her tail.  Ferinia giggled and raced up the stairs to her bedroom. She plopped down on the bed with Astra’s bag in her lap, but she didn’t open it.  

“So… what’d you bring me?”  She stared wide-eyed at Astra.

Astra settled down next to her and smirked.  “How do you know I brought you anything?”

Ferinia’s gaze continued to burn with intensity. “I mean, you didn’t have to, but I’m pretty sure you did.”

“Well, hand over my bag and I’ll give them to you.”

Ferinia was nearly vibrating with excitement as she scooted the bag over.

Astra opened it and pulled out three thick volumes, one at a time, and placed them in Ferinia’s outstretched hands.  First, a small historical diary from a distant land. Next, a thick tome written in Sylvan about the Feywilds that glowed faintly.  And lastly, a small compendium of smutty short stories written in various languages.

A small squeal of excitement escaped Ferinia’s lips.  She looked down at the books and back up at Astra and then down at the books again.  She made a sound that Astra knew meant she was having a moment of indecision. Carefully, Ferinia extracted herself from the bed without dropping the books and moved them over to her desk in the corner.  

Astra used this moment to place her bag on the chair since she knew it wouldn’t be very long before… 

Ferinia launched herself at Astra and straddled her.  “Thank you, Slya.”

“I’ve been keeping my eyes open for anything I thought you might like.”

Ferinia once again wove her hands into Astra’s long silky hair and smiled.  “I really like the blue.”

“Thank you.  I’m glad.” Astra pulled Ferinia close.  “I was nervous. It’s been so long.”

Ferinia cut her off with a kiss and then nuzzled against her face.  Her movements held such confidence but in her voice was a slight tremor.  “I’m really glad you came back. I’ve missed you.”


	4. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Ferinia share an intimate moment while Astra does Ferinia's hair

Astra sat on the edge of the bed with Ferinia’s head resting against her knees.  She gently lifted Ferinia’s thick curly hair and spread it across her lap before taking the brush in her hands and lightly running it through the ends.  She worked her way up through Ferinia’s hair until she had managed to get all the tangles out.

Ferinia just sat there quietly, still except for the couple times she winced in reaction to the brush snagging at the handful of knots that had built up in her hair over time.  She wasn’t nearly so fastidious about its upkeep as her father was with his facial hair.

Every time she’d hit a knot, Astra had apologised and asked if Ferinia was okay, but all she’d received was a grunt and a small wave to proceed.  Once she had finished the brushing, she pulled out a small jar, applied some of the poultice inside to her hands, and then gently spread it throughout Ferinia’s hair.  It gave her hair a slightly sweet floral scent in addition to relaxing it and healing the damage from her time spent in the heat of the forge. 

The longer they sat there, the more relaxed Ferinia’s body became, and though she still remained silent and unmoving as a statue, Astra could tell she was enjoying this moment together.  It wasn’t the first time she had done this for her, but it wasn’t something they did often. Ferinia always seemed so hesitant to allow Astra to care for her in ways that were intimate but not sexual.  

The first time Ferinia had suggested it, Astra had been so surprised, and ultimately Ferinia had backed out of letting her.  It had taken Astra a couple more visits for Ferinia to even bring it up again.

“What would you like me to do now?” Astra asked.

There was a soft grunt from below that seemed almost sleepy followed by, “Anything’s fine.”

Astra folded forward and kissed Ferinia on the forehead.  She took a moment to wrap her arms around Ferinia’s shoulders.  She closed her eyes and rested her head against Ferinia’s. “ _ Usstan che dos, _ ” she breathed.

Ferinia stiffened in her grasp.  “Did you just-?”

Astra’s eyes fluttered open.  She froze, suddenly hyper-aware of her body.  “Oh, I- uh, yeah, I- I guess, I did… was that- is that okay?”

“It’s just- I--”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” she started to release Ferinia’s shoulders but felt Ferinia clasp her arms, holding her there around her.

“It’s okay, I’m just- Slya, it’s not that I don’t feel that way about you, just that I’m not sure I can say it back.  At least, not yet.”

“Oh.  Okay. It’s fine.  I can wait. As long as I need to.”  Astra smiled but her heart threatened to beat out of her chest.  She hadn’t meant to say it, but she had meant what she’d said. She’d let down her guard in this moment of intimacy and carelessly let her feelings slip out.  It had been years since they started seeing each other, and Astra had been referring to F as ‘dear one’ for quite some time now, but actually saying those words in particular felt different.

Ferinia released her hold on Astra’s arms, and the pair of them sighed simultaneously, resulting in quiet chuckling.  It was a relief to know that beneath her unreadable exterior, Ferinia did care for her in the same way.

Astra sat up again, stretched her spine, and then ran the brush through Ferinia’s hair once more before starting to separate it into smaller pieces for plaiting.  Slowly and carefully, she began meticulously working Ferinia’s hair into a series of long twisting braids.

“Trying something new?”

“I saw it on my travels; the person who taught me how to do it had a similar hair texture to yours.  She told me it was a good style and comfortable to wear and even suggested that- well, I, um, I also got some adornments to put in if you’ll allow me?” Her voice became quiet, meek. “These ones reminded me of you.”  Books had been acceptable gifts so far, but this kind of gift was more intimate, a very physical representation of the ‘I love you’ she’d let slip out.

Ferinia lightly stroked Astra’s leg in a soothing manner and then offered up her palm.  Astra placed the small bag of delicate filigree bands and glass beads in it.  Ferinia turned them over in her hand a moment before holding up for Astra to take the bag back.  She gave a small nod but said nothing.

Astra couldn’t see Ferinia’s face, but she felt a sudden flash of heat against her knees where Ferinia’s neck rested against them and knew she was pleased.  She began working in the handful of adornments in with the careful twists of Ferinia’s hair, and Ferinia went back to being silent and still for the duration of Astra working with her hair.  The comfortable silence between them was filled with the soft jingle of Astra’s earrings as she worked and the crackle of the torch in the room. Periodically, Astra could hear a faint sniffing sound and feel a soft shuddering in Ferinia’s breath but drew no attention to it.  She tried to keep her hands steady and the twists even, not wanting to disturb Ferinia’s fragile state for fear of her running off in the shame of revealing it.

“All done,  _ d’anthe uss _ .”

Ferinia sniffed and hurriedly rubbed her face, grunting as she got up to face Astra.  Her cheeks were red and blotchy and her eyes inflamed. The filigree and teal beads shone and sparkled in her auburn hair as she moved.  She resisted the urge to fidget with her hair as she always did when she was nervous. “How do I look?”

Astra reached out to take Ferinia’s hands in hers. “As beautiful as the first time I met you.”

Ferinia snorted and grinned, “You say that every time!”

“Because it is always true.  There isn’t a moment when you are not.”

“Even when I’m covered in sweat and soot?”

“Always,  _ d’anthe uss. _ ”

Ferinia climbed into Astra’s lap and kissed her.  Her chest rose and fell with deep, conscious breaths.  She then flopped onto the bed beside Astra and leaned her head back against the wall.  She stared at the ceiling and tried to form the words.

Astra scooted back from the edge of the bed to sit beside her and took Ferinia’s hand in hers once more, her own posture mimicking Ferinia’s.

For several long minutes, they sat there in silence, staring at the ceiling and holding hands.

“ _ Mamí _ used to do mine and Lehna’s hair… back when we lived in the mountain,” her voice barely above a whisper.

Astra smiled and lightly squeezed F’s hand but kept her eyes trained on her point on the ceiling.  She felt her heart flutter as tears trickled down her face to land on her bare shoulders. In her own way, F had just told her she loved her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used the Spanish 'mamí' to indicate the closest pronunciation Ferinia would use when referring to her mother.


	5. Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the inner workings of Astra's and Ferinia's relationship

Astra watched Ferinia reading over her knitting.  F was scowling with such focus, it must have been an interesting book.

“You’re going to drop stitches if you keep watching me,” F smirked, her fiery eyes flicked up to Astra.

“Rude,” Astra quipped in amusement, though her eyes darted over her handiwork just to be sure.  “Good book?”

“Mmhmm” Ferinia murmured, once again becoming lost in the thick leatherbound tome written in Celestial.

Astra hadn’t really known exactly what she’d picked up for Ferinia, but it was written in one of the languages F had listed for her, and it certainly felt magical.   It had become a habit to search for books for F on her travels, always keeping an ear to the ground for more interesting ones.  Even if she couldn’t be there with F, it became a way to feel close to her when she was gone.

Astra finished her row and put away her project for the time being.  She casually ambled off the bed and curled up on the floor next to Ferinia.

Ferinia closed the book.  “Yes, lovely?” her tone was slightly nettled.

“You don’t have to stop on my account.  My hands were just getting tired.”

Ferinia stared at her with arched eyebrows.  “Alright. So, you were just going to lie there while I kept reading?”

“Yep.”

F flipped open the book again.  “And you don’t understand a word of this?”

“Correct.”

Ferinia closed the book, got up and put it on her desk.

“What are you doing?” Astra rolled onto her side and propped herself up on an elbow.

Ferinia scooped Astra into her arms and deposited her back in the bed.  “You’re going to mess up your back lying on the floor like that.”

Astra snorted indignantly.  “I’m not  _ that _ old.”

“Old enough,” Ferinia retorted with a smirk.

Astra snaked her tail around Ferinia and tipped her face forward onto the bed.  “You’re nearly as old as I am.”

Ferinia chuckled and looked up at her, “Still half a century younger than you.”

“Well, I still have plenty of centuries ahead of me, so you can kindly  _ vith tir _ .”

Ferinia eyes burned with a wicked fiery gleam. “I mean, I can.  The study is free.” She made the motions of trying to leave the bed and felt Astra’s tail pull her closer.  Ferinia gave her a wolfish grin and crawled onto the bed next to Astra. “Are you that sensitive about your age, lovely?”

“Less about my age and more… I know I’m not as hale as you, but there’s no need to rub it in.”

Ferinia took Astra’s hand in her own and kissed it.  “Rest. You will only become stronger by taking care of yourself.”  Her voice was gentle, but her expression was carefully moulded stone, completely stoic.

Astra knew she needed to be careful.  Sudden movements into F’s emotional space were tricky.  Over the years, she had learned to read what was okay and what wasn’t based on the subtle changes in F’s expressions.  Overall, Ferinia herself wasn’t a subtle person, but the difference between her walking off to be alone and her letting Astra in was.

Astra nodded.  She reached over and grabbed the book off F’s desk.  She handed it to F and waited.  Usually, F preferred to read while sitting or lounging on the floor.  Astra wasn’t really sure why F even had a desk since she rarely used it for anything other than storage.  Not to mention it was jammed between the wall and the bed which made it a bit too cramped to sit at.

The hard lines of Ferinia’s face began to soften.  She put the book to the side and looked up at Astra.  The warm glow in her eyes was returning.  She held Astra’s gaze there for several minutes, just breathing and regaining her composure and holding Astra’s hand.  And then she reached up and stroked Astra’s face from the tip of her horn all the way down to her chin.  The corners of F’s lips twitched into a brief impression of a smile before she sprawled out in the bed with her book next to Astra.

Astra laid down beside her but faced away from F.  She focused her magic on the torch on the wall, changing the colour of the flame at her whimsy as she delved into her thoughts.  

She might not be able to read the book, but whatever was in it seemed to make Ferinia uncomfortable to be reading it in her presence.  The only conclusion she could come to was that the contents must be something that reminded Ferinia of her mother and Lehna. Over the years, Astra had managed to stitch together the snippets of information she’d received with the feelings and impressions that Ferinia had given her.  She didn’t know all the details, but she knew that two people were missing from Ferinia’s life, her mother and the one called Lehna. She didn’t know who Lehna was, but they must have been dear to Ferinia’s heart by the way F so carefully guarded their name. Astra couldn’t be certain, but she also wondered if whatever had happened to them had caused F’s obsession with magic.

Astra felt Ferinia’s head come to rest against her back.  Her heart fluttered involuntarily and the flame of the torch turned a soft pink.  Ferinia let out a quiet breath of laughter and nuzzled closer. And as she did, Astra could feel a faint periodic shaking in F’s body.  Astra longed to hold Ferinia and sooth whatever it was that made her heart ache so.  But that wasn’t what Ferinia needed. She needed exactly what Astra was doing already, giving her a certain amount of privacy while still being there for her.  So Astra waited and toyed with the flame and pondered the things left unsaid until the rhythm of Ferinia’s breathing carried her off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During this, Astra would be about 130 and Ferinia would be about 80. They're both solidly adults and would appear to be in their early 30s.


	6. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Ferinia chat about various things in bed (as per usual)

**** Astra stretched out on the bed next to Ferinia, their heads at opposite ends as they lounged.  “Hey, do you ever think about other people?”

Ferinia half sat up so that Astra would be able to see her and arched an eyebrow, amusement in her eyes though the rest of her expression remained neutral.  “Sure. Let's see, I think about the customers who came in yesterday, my dad, your mum…”

“Ferinia…”

“Slyan'ssun.” Ferinia countered, letting a smirk come through now.

“Ughh… You know what I meant.”  Astra writhed uncomfortably in the bedding.

The hint of smirking on Ferinia’s face dropped into a stern frown.  “Maybe so, but tell me, Slya, do you? Do you think about other people while you are away from me?”

Astra sat up and looked directly at Ferinia.  “No. I don’t.”

“Then there’s your answer,” F replied matter-of-factly.

The strength in Astra’s expression faltered.  “Yes, but I-- outside of you, I don’t feel-- I don’t have that for people. And I know you have needs. Needs that I can’t always be here to meet.”  She shrunk in on herself, eyes distant, her lanky form pulling in as tightly as it could.

Ferinia scooted close to Astra and locked eyes with her.  “Slyan’ssun. I have two very capable hands and a mountainous stockpile of porn. Do I  _ need  _ you to be here? No. Do I  _ want  _ you to be here? Fuck yes, I do.”

Astra could feel the cold anxiety in her chest melting in the heat of Ferinia’s gaze.  Ferinia reached up and stroked her cheek gently.

“What we have isn’t purely physical. This only works if both our hearts are in it.”  Ferinia took one of Astra’s hands and placed it over her chest.  Astra could feel the strong, steady rhythm pulsing against her hand.  “This heart beats for you and you alone, Slyan’ssun.”

Astra took Ferinia’s other hand with her free one and placed it over her own heart.  She nodded and pushed down the emotions welling up inside her. Astra brought her forehead down to rest it against Ferinia’s.  They held each other like that for several minutes, during which Astra was able to suppress the lump of emotions caught in her throat.

Instinctively, Ferinia leaned back, still clutching one of Astra’s hands and grabbed a large canteen from the floor and offered it to Astra.   They both let out tiny simultaneous breaths of laughter.   Astra took a deep drink of water from the canteen and passed it back to Ferinia.  

S he sighed, “I’m sorry for--”

Ferinia interrupted her.  “No. Thank you for addressing it with me. It has clearly been on your mind.”  She took a swig from the canteen and set it back on the floor.

Astra’s cheeks flushed violet.  “Well, um… thank you. For giving me the peace of mind.”

“Of course.  You know, you can talk to me about anything, Slyan’ssun.”  Ferinia pressed herself close to Astra and wrapped her arms around her neck.

Astra looked deep into Ferinia’s amber eyes.  “Just as you can talk to me about anything, Ferinia.”  Astra mirrored the phrasing as well as the intent. There was a slight twitch at the corner of Ferinia’s lips.   “ _D'anthe uss_ , do you not like the sound of your own name?”  Astra prodded gently.

Ferinia’s lips puckered into a pout.  “It’s not that… it’s just… I’m not used to hearing it.”  She pulled her arms from Astra’s shoulders to cross them over her chest and added in a quiet muttering, “And it’s just so… so girly.”

Astra tried to conceal a snicker.  “Girly? Really?”

“What?  In case you hadn’t noticed, but I’m pretty butch otherwise.”

Astra laughed, so startlingly genuine that Ferinia blushed.  “I think you are exactly as you are. I had not thought of your name in any way other than that which you are called.”  She tilted her head in curiosity. “Though on a similar note, I am curious as to why you call me by my given name.”

Ferinia hesitated, once again folding in on herself.  The red splotchy blush of her cheeks spread over her ears and chest.  Her jaw set in a hard line and her fiery eyes filled with determination.  “Because… it is beautiful. And you  _ should  _ hear it. I know why you don’t use it, but you should hear someone speak it with all the care and respect it deserves…” she paused and then locked eyes with Astra, unable to hide the fear and insecurity in them.  “With all the love you deserve.”

Astra’s lip quivered involuntarily.  She leaned down and kissed Ferinia, who returned it with equal ferocity.   Ferinia drew them back down to the bed and her arm slipped off the edge to retrieve the canteen of water.  She pressed lightly against Astra’s sternum to break their connection. “Hydrate, lovely.”

Astra took a moment for her eyes to refocus and sipped at the water.  “You take such care of me.”

“Shouldn’t I?”  Ferinia smirked.  “You do for me.”

Astra kissed her on the forehead as she lowered the water back to the floor.  She held back airing the thought that she wished Ferinia would let her do more to care for her.  She needed to trust that it was already enough. She lay down on her stomach next to Ferinia, resting her head on folded arms with her face toward Ferinia.  Astra’s tail relaxed and flopped down against Ferinia’s arm. The bed wasn’t really long enough to support her this way so her knees rested against the wall, her legs forced to curl back over her body.  It wasn’t uncomfortable so much as it was ridiculous and awkward-looking. 

Ferinia lay on her back beside her, lightly caressing Astra’s tail.  They lay there in comfortable silence for several minutes before Astra’s tail perked up once more.

“Yes, Slya?”

Astra shot a glare at her own tail, which evoked wickedly delighted laughter from Ferinia.

“Go on?”

“I was just thinking… well, I mean, I’ssuri is in town and, um, I thought maybe it might be… nice to, um, take you to meet her?”

The playfulness on Ferinia’s face dropped and Astra felt an unpleasant pressure on her tail.

“Ow- ow- ow- tail- ow!  Please stop!”

Ferinia’s hands released, “Sorry!  I didn’t mean--”

Astra’s tail whipped to the other side of the bed, the tip rapping against the bedding involuntarily.  “It’s fine,” she replied gently. “Just an accident.”

Ferinia nodded and scowled.  She turned on her side to better face Astra.  “You really want me to meet your mum?”

“I mean, if you want to?  Just that I’ve been pretty much living with you and your dad on and off for years, so I just thought maybe…  since she’s here in Ironstone…”

Ferinia stared intently into Astra’s eyes a moment.  “Alright, then let’s do it. Let’s go meet your mum,” she said with attempted enthusiasm.

“I should probably let her know we’re coming first.”

“Oh.  Right.  Yeah, I suppose that would be good.”

“Are you nervous to meet my mother?”  Astra teased playfully.

Ferinia laughed humourlessly followed by a “ _ Vith tir _ .”

Astra blushed, “Okay, maybe don’t say that around I’ssuri.”

Ferinia grinned, her nervousness seemingly vanished.  “I’m sure she would love to hear all the wonderful phrases you have taught me.”

Astra’s tail twitched.  “You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I?”  Ferinia reached out and tickled Astra’s bare torso.

The room was filled with the sound of their giggling, followed by a bang as Astra’s knee hit the wall in her struggle against F’s delicate feather-light tickling.

“OW- VITH.”

Ferinia instantly stopped.  “Slya’chev, are you alright?”

Astra blushed at F’s new term of endearment before the pain brought her back to reality.   “I think I’m alright, just stuck,” she groaned.

Ferinia looked Astra over and tried to figure out the best way to uncontort her.

There was a knock at the door.  “You guys okay in there?” Onrik called without opening it.

“Yeah, we’re fine, dad!” Ferinia called back.

“Okay… be safe,” he muttered and walked off, the sound of his footsteps descending the creaky stairs once more.

“Hmmm… okay, push off the wall with your good leg, and I’ll pull you forward and roll you over, and you should be able to sit up from there.  Sound good?” Ferinia suggested.  

Once upright again, Astra inspected her knee.  

“Oh, no, I guess we won’t be able to make the trek to see your mother after all,” Ferinia said with a falsely deflated tone and shrugged.

A dark sparkling aura surrounded her knee beneath her hands.  Astra smirked, “Nice try, but nothing’s damaged except my pride.”  She then pulled out a sheaf of paper and penned a quick message on to her mother, letting her know they would be coming to visit her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation notes:  
> d'anthe uss : dear one  
> -'chev : beloved


	7. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra takes F to meet her mother for the first time

Ferinia’s warm hand was clammy in Astra’s as they walked through the Forest district to the Merciful Bachelor.  Astra chuckled and rubbed Ferinia on the back with her tail. “You’re going to be fine.”

“I’ve never met anyone’s parents before!” F growled back. “What if I fuck it all up and your mum hates me?”

“What could you possibly muck up?” Astra retorted smugly.

F glared up at Astra.  “That’s not what I said and you know it.”

“Regardless, my point still stands.  It’ll be fine. She’ll love you.”

“But--!  You don’t  _ know  _ that!”

Astra squeezed F’s hand reassuringly.  “I do.”

“How?”

“Because  _ I _ love you.”

Ferinia’s face and neck turned splotchy red and her nostrils flared.  “Fuck you.”

“Maybe later,” Astra winked and smiled at Ferinia with complete adoration.  “We’re here.”

Ferinia let out a forceful exhale and then pivoted back towards the Mountain district.

Astra laughed.  “Oh, no, you don’t!  I’ssuri is expecting us and she won’t be in Ironstone forever!”  She slid her tail around Ferinia’s hips to rotate her back toward the tavern mid-step.

Ferinia’s cheeks turned even darker crimson.  Her eyelids hung heavier and her breathing became slower, deeper.  “That’s not fair,” she articulated in a quiet hiss. “You can’t just-just- rile me up in public like this!  Especially not right before we go see your mother!”

“Are you feeling less nervous now?” Astra asked.

Ferinia’s amber eyes darted about as she took inventory of herself.  After a few seconds, they fixed on Astra again. She motioned for Astra to lean down toward her.  Astra obliged, and Ferinia took her chin in her hand and pulled her into a deep kiss that left Astra breathless.

“Okay, now we can go in,” Ferinia proceeded forward, lightly smacking Astra on the ass as she passed her.

Astra just stood there dazed and blushing for a moment before rushing to catch up with Ferinia.

Inside, they were greeted by the barman Simon. “Hello and welcome to the Merciful Bachelor!  Is there anyth- Astra! And who is this you’ve brought with you?” His eyes wandered from Astra to the dwarven woman she had her arm around.

“Ferinia, her girlfriend,” Ferinia replied proudly though her voice came out stilted and awkward.

From the stairs, Astra saw a purple-skinned woman with long white hair descend.  She wore a simple but well-made dress with silver embroidered embellishments. She beckoned to Astra and returned up the stairs.  Ferinia stared almost entranced by the elegance of her movements and the poise with which she carried herself and knew without a doubt, this had to be Astra’s mother.

Astra smiled at Simon and led Ferinia up the stairs after her.

“Well, it was nice to meet you!  Just let me know if you need anything!  Y’all have a nice time!” Simon called after them.

Once the door of her room had closed behind them, Jhanszia touched Astra’s cheek affectionately and smiled.  “ _ Ussta  _ Slyan’ssun,  _ dos'in golorhin ji mzilt _ .  Now, who have you brought to me?” [you’ve grown so much]

Ferinia lurched forward as Astra’s tail pressed against her lower back.  “ _ Usstan tlun  _ Ferinia.” She regained her composure and gave her best formal bow.  “ _ Ol zhah natha ssrigg'tul ulu morfeth dosst chonirfan. _ ” [I am Ferinia. / It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.]

Jhanszia breathed a laugh. “So charming.  And you’ve taught her our tongue?” she directed to Astra.  “Just how long have you been together?”

Astra blushed, “Umm well…”

“It’s been five and a half years, ma’am,” Ferinia answered overly formally.

“Five and a half years!  My, that’s quite some time!” Jhanszia mused in surprise.  Her lips pursed as thoughts raced through her mind, and one very loud thought in particular.  “How come- wait a minute- are you- is she…?”

Astra could see the conclusions that her mother had jumped to and quickly interjected, “No, I’ssuri, that is not the case.  It simply lined up that you were here in Ironstone at the same time I was here, and I managed to convince F to come meet you.”

Ferinia looked back and forth between them.

Jhanszia let out a small sigh of relief.  “Shall we sit and I can get to know you?”  She indicated the small table in her room with a smile.  On it was a small assortment of food as well a bottle of wine and plates and cups for three.

Ferinia stopped.  “Hang on a sec, you thought I was pregnant?”

“Or that we were getting married,” snorted Astra.

“Or both,” muttered Jhanszia, her cheeks glowing violet with her embarrassment.  She turned back to face Ferinia. “My apologies, it just seemed so sudden to be meeting my child’s significant other especially after so long a time.”

A wicked grin broke out across Ferinia’s face and she pulled Jhanszia into a hug to which Astra joined in.  “That’s pretty hilarious.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Jhanszia managed between the combined pressures of their hugs.  She wheezed slightly as they released her. “Shall we?”

Ferinia and Astra joined hands and took places at the table adjacent to each other.

“So, how did you two meet?” Jhanszia asked politely while she poured wine for the three of them.

“Well, Slya showed up on our door during a bad storm, soaking wet and desperate to find shelter.”

Jhanszia’s eyebrows arched curiously, surprised to hear anyone outside of herself using her child’s name, even an abbreviated version of it.  What struck her even more was the care with which Ferinia spoke it and her precise and accurate pronunciation.

“And Ferinia let me sleep in her room while she stayed in the study.  And then I stayed there with her and her father for the next three months.  I might’ve stayed longer if it wasn’t for the Calling.”

“Of course,” Jhanszia nodded. “It must be difficult on you both, the weight of Slyan'ssun's blessing.”

“It is what it is,” Ferinia answered Jhanszia, though her gaze never left Astra.  “No matter how long it takes, I know Slya will come back to me.  She always does.”

Jhanszia smiled, but there was a brief flicker of sadness in her white eyes that went unnoticed by the couple. 

Astra kissed Ferinia’s hand and then returned their attention to her mother.  It was all too easy for them to become lost in each other like that. “I do. The Traveller truly blessed me when They led me to her door that day.”

F smirked.  “Blessed or no, I’m just glad pops had me answer the door.

“So you live with your father?”

“Yep, we have a forge in the Mountain ward.  It’s not much, but it’s home, and we do well enough.”

“Have you always lived there?”

Ferinia’s smile vanished and her expression turned stony, and she shook her head.  There was a faint clicking as the beads in her hair knocked into each other.

Astra quickly changed the subject.  “So, I’ssuri, what brings you here?”

“Oh, I, um, just felt like a change of scenery, as I do from time to time,” Jhanszia replied evasively and redirected the conversation.  “So, Ferinia, what are your interests, outside of Slyan’ssun that is?”

Ferinia’s expression softened once more.  “Well, I do love my work. Been wielding a hammer ever since I could lift one.  But I also love reading, mostly histories and magic theory.”

“Ferinia has about twelve huge bookcases, all built by her and all filled with books in a wide variety of languages.  It’s quite impressive,” Astra grinned. She willfully held her tongue about F’s significant collection of erotic literature.

Ferinia beamed proudly at Jhanszia.  “I keep having to make more of them because Slya keeps bringing me home new books.”

“Ah, perhaps you will let me see it someday.  With such an extensive collection, I take it you have a strong aptitude for magic then?”

“Unfortunately no, just a strong interest in it.  I’ve never been able to- I just can’t make a connection with the arcane. Even spell scrolls are useless in my hands,” she scowled.  Ferinia felt Astra’s gentle hand caress her cheek. She closed her eyes and held it there with one of her own for a breath before relaxing her expression again and moving their clasped hands back beneath the table.

Jhanszia watched their interactions with curiosity.  Astra had never brought anyone to meet her before. She seemed so completely comfortable around Ferinia in a way Jhanszia had never seen previously.  They seemed to say so much to each other in these silent moments that lasted no more than a few breaths.  It warmed her heart to see her child’s happiness and prayed that it would last.

“I’ssuri, were you planning on staying here long?” Astra broke the silence.

“Perhaps a little while before returning to Ganarock.”

“Ganarock is near…" Ferinia’s emberlike eyes flickered about as she did some mental mapwork.  "Do you have any other family there?”

The corner of Jhanszia’s mouth twitched slightly, and she readjusted in her chair.  She tried to cover her subtle discomfort with her wine glass, and while Astra seemed not to notice, she was fairly certain that Ferinia had.  “No, just work.  And home,” she added. “It is where I raised Slyan’ssun.”

Ferinia nodded almost imperceptibly.  Her eyes met Jhanszia's, and a silent understanding passed between them.

“It’s always been just us,” Astra smiled and squeezed her mother’s shoulder affectionately.

“Indeed.  She is my  _ dumoas _ .” [blessing]

“ _ I’ssuri… _ ” Astra whined in protest, blushing violet once more.  She buried her face in her wine glass and took a very long drink.

“What?  Are parents not supposed to embarrass their children in front of their significant others?” Jhanszia smirked and began to replenish their glasses.  She stopped over Ferinia’s, seeing it still full.  “Oh, Ferinia, did you not like the drink?  I can have something else sent up if you’d prefer?”

“It’s fine.  I’m happy with water if you have it.”

Jhanszia tilted her head slightly.

“I don’t drink alcohol.  It makes my head feel weird,” Ferinia explained.  “It doesn’t bother me to be around it, but it’s just not really my thing, y’know?”

“Of course.  Not a problem, I’ll just--”

“Nah, you sit.  It’s your night off.  I’ll go get it,” Astra intervened and left the room to retrieve a carafe of water from the bar below.  When she returned, she could hear hushed voices from inside, but the moment she entered, their conversation stopped.  Astra almost wished she could have gone back and listened at the door to hear whatever they had been talking about. She pushed down her curiosity and pretended there was nothing suspicious about what had just happened.  “Getting along alright without me?”

“Of course,” Jhanszia answered almost too quickly.

Which was enough to let Astra’s curiosity get the best of her.  “So… what were y’all talking about while I was gone?”

There was a beat of silence where Ferinia and Jhanszia just stared at each other.

Ferinia laughed awkwardly.  “Oh, well, that was just umm-- your mother wanted to make sure we were having safe sex and--” she blurted.

Jhanszia’s hand spread across her face to cover her expression.

Splotches of violet heat erupted from Astra’s chest and spread up her neck to her ears, cheeks, and even her horns, and the metal carafe dropped from her hand, splashing water all over the floor and her dress.  “Great,” she half-wheezed, half-squeaked. “I’ll be right back. Please, if you must finish that conversation, do it before I return.” She picked up the empty carafe and went to refill it, closing the door behind her once more, suddenly glad she hadn’t listened at the door.

“Back so soon?” Simon commented as she stalked back down the stairs to the bar.

“I had a spill,” she answered irritably.  “And if I could get… uhh, maybe three shots of your strongest?”

“Not going well?”

“Nope, it’s going  _ great _ ,” her voice cracked on the last word.  “Okay, you know what, let’s just go ahead make it four, please.”

The barman chuckled.  “If you say so.” He set up the little glasses in a row and filled them with completely clear liquid and then went to refill the water, and when he’d turned back around, all four were empty.  His eyes went wide. “Did you and your lady need a room for the night?” he asked with concern in his voice.

Astra’s vision blurred slightly, and she blinked rapidly to try to make it go away.  It was possible that she  _ might  _ have overdone it a little.  Astra took the water in one hand, gave Simon a thumbs up with the other, and winked.  She then made her way back up the stairs, which she managed with only minimal swaying.

“What does that mean?” He asked no one in particular as he stared after her in confusion.  “Oh well… I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

Astra knocked on her mother’s door and waited.  She could hear one of the chairs slide across the floor and then heavy footsteps, and a moment later Ferinia was standing before her.  

Ferinia just stared at her for a few seconds with an odd expression on her face.  “Lovely, are you alright?”

“ _ Zhennu, fridj zhennu,  _ dear one .” [Great, just great]

Ferinia blinked.  “Why don’t I believe you?

“ _ Usstan tir ti sinta en’yiik othok dos telanth… _ ” Astra slurred in a mishmash of languages with a coy smile.*

Ferinia laughed humourlessly.  “Bullshit.”

Jhanszia got up from her seat to get a better look at Astra.  “You understood that?”

“Pretty much.  At least she's using with languages I know,” Ferinia shrugged.  She scowled at Astra. “ _ Apparently _ , she doesn’t know what I’m talking about, but I’d wager she got herself something to drink downstairs.”

Jhanszia’s nostrils flared slightly, and she rubbed her hands together as she strode pointedly toward Astra.  “Because I’m feeling merciful and because it’s getting late and you will be needing to make your way back across town fairly soon…” she trailed off and a silvery glow shone from her hands as she placed them on Astra’s face.

Astra blinked, suddenly very alert, her system completely void of any traces of alcohol.  “I’ssuri, did you just--?”

“Yes.  Don’t do that again, or I’ll make sure that every tavern I work at knows that they can only serve you water.”  Jhanszia held Astra’s face between her hands, holding her in her stern gaze.

“Yes, I’ssuri,” Astra replied soberly.  Her tail twitched in self-directed agitation, but she didn’t attempt to make any excuses for her rash behaviour.  This was really not how she had imagined their evening going.

After a moment, Jhanszia's expression softened, and she pulled Astra into a hug and whispered so that only she could hear, “I love you _ ,  _ Slyan’ssun.  You’ve found a good one in Ferinia; hold her dear.”

Astra squeezed her mother tighter and whispered back,  “Thank you. I love you too.”

“It is getting late, especially if you intend to walk back to your forge tonight.  I can get you a room if you’d rather stay longer though?” Jhanszia suggested.

“No, you’re right.  We really should get moving.  Work to be done in the forge and all that.  It was a pleasure to meet you,” Ferinia replied.

Jhanszia smiled.  “The pleasure was mine.  I will see you another time.  Perhaps I shall stop by the forge and meet your father as well.”  She took the carafe of water and placed it on the table with the now empty plates and glasses.  Jhanszia walked Astra and Ferinia out of the Merciful Bachelor and watched them until their silhouettes faded into the distance.

Ferinia leaned against Astra as they walked, a contented smile on her face.  “Alcohol incident aside, I think that went pretty well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *depending on my level of alcohol, I also do this.


	8. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra lets herself dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: there is a small mention of blood in this one, but nothing overly graphic

Astra held Ferinia close.  She felt the Calling coming again, stronger with each passing day.  Not in words so much as a pull at her heart and mind.  She knew if she hesitated too much longer, it would probably be a while before she would be allowed to return to the forge again.  She’d stayed two months already, settled into a routine with F and Onrik, and gotten comfortable with them as she waited for it.  In the years since she’d known F, the only time she ever received the Calling now was when she stayed at the forge.  Probably because it was the only place that she really had a hard time leaving.

A tiny piece of her hoped that maybe she’d get to stay this time, not just a week or a month or a year but for as long as she had left.  She loved Ferinia with all of her being.  She wanted to make a life with her.  She wanted to stay with her, by her side, and maybe even start a family with her if F was amenable to it.  The idea of having kids excited Astra, though being around children had always seemed to make F uncomfortable.  Even if they didn’t have kids, perhaps a dog or a cat was an option.  Ferinia did seem particularly fond of dogs.  Astra allowed herself the fantasy this one time, full well knowing that she was only going to break her own heart because, as of the moment, it wasn’t in her future.

Astra knew Odyssey had just been a casual, fleeting _vithrin_ for her mother, but she still wondered if he had ever wanted something similar.  She didn’t understand how he could just… not want to stay.  I’ssuri had explained it to her when she was younger, that she had spent a couple nights with him knowing that was all it ever would be.  Astra understood the words, but still, it was hard for her to fathom being that intimate with someone without having some sort of bond with them.

“Lovely, if you keep holding me so tight, you’re gonna strain yourself.”  F’s eyes slid open, mouth set in the usual smirk she wore around Astra.

Astra uncoiled herself from around Ferinia and felt soreness from the tension she’d been holding in her muscles. “I’m sorry, _d’anthe uss_ , did I wake you?”

Ferinia stretched out and then reversed their positions, now pulling Astra in close.  She brushed Astra’s hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ear, creating a faint tinkling as the tiny crystalline stars clinked together.  “It’s happening again, isn’t it?” Her smile had faded into something distant and wistful.

Astra said nothing but kissed Ferinia on the forehead, letting her lips linger before resting her head against her.

“Slya…”  Ferinia’s gruff voice was delicate.

“I know.”

Ferinia sighed.  “I know what I cannot ask you, nor would it be fair for me to ask that of you.  I _understand_.”  Her jaw clenched to hide the quivering of her lip.  “It just fucking sucks.”

“The sooner I leave, the sooner I will be back in your arms.”  _Hopefully._

“That’s stupid,” F grumbled petulantly. “I just wish…”

“I do too.”

“I’ve never wanted… before, I--” F chewed at the inside of her cheeks, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check.  But Astra couldn’t hold hers back any longer.  She wept and curled in against F’s chest.

“HEY! HEY! POINTY!”  F squirmed to keep Astra’s horns from stabbing her in the neck and face.

“I’m sorry!” Astra sobbed.

“Hey, hey, shh, it’s okay…” Ferinia reassured her and sat Astra up, not so subtly wiping tears and mucus off her bare chest with one of their blankets.  She offered the blanket to Astra and wrapped her arms around her.  Astra sniffled and wiped her face on it before looking to Ferinia, who had a few small gouges trickling blood below her jawline.

“ _D’anthe uss_ , I--”  Astra reached up and wiped the blood away, healing the wounds with her touch as she did.

Ferinia shook her head.  “It’s fine,” she strained, refusing to look Astra in the eyes.

Astra finally managed to stop the flow of tears.  The indigo of her skin was tinged with bright violet irritation from the overflow of her emotions.  She scooted closer to Ferinia and placed her hands on her cheeks but stared at her knees.  “I want--”

Ferinia quivered and her voice cracked, “Slya, stop.”

Astra leaned her head forward and touched it to Ferinia’s, sliding her hands to cup the back of Ferinia’s neck.  Ferinia mirrored the movement with her own hands.  They sat there silently shaking with tears streaming down their faces for several long moments.

“Well, fuck me…”  Ferinia cursed and sniffled.

Astra let out a soft breath of a laugh.  “We could.”

Ferinia met her gaze.  She was smirking again, though it didn’t touch her fiery golden eyes.  “Oddly enough, can’t say I’m much in the mood.”

“That’s fair.”  

Astra sat back against the wall, and Ferinia joined her.  

“What if--?” Astra started.

Ferinia cut her off, “No.  No what if’s.  We don’t play that game, remember?  It hurts too much.”

“I know.  I just… I knew it would hurt, but just for a moment, I let myself dream.”

Ferinia nodded, jaw set hard.  For a split second, she had to.  “And now it’s time to wake up.”

Astra got up with a tired sigh.  Ferinia’s hand remained interlaced with her own until Astra began getting dressed.  Astra didn’t carry much with her so it never took her long to pack.  As she finished gathering her things, Ferinia left the bed and wrapped her arms tightly around Astra.

“Come back to me, _ussta xukuth_.”

“Always.”  She slung her bag over her shoulder and left once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes:  
> ~ Astra's calls F "dear one"  
> ~ vithrin: one night stand / casual fling (literal: sexual venture)  
> ~ ussta xukuth: my heart


	9. A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra ends up in Ironstone with her party and goes to visit Ferinia

Astra walked with Bluey up to the old forge and saw a familiar face outside.

“Thulmir!” Astra called out.

The drow turned from his yard work and waved.

A gruff voice yelled out from inside, “Astra!” and an older dwarf hobbled out of the building at an impressive pace.  He pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s been too long!”

“It has! We’ve just arrived in Ironstone. We’re staying at my mother’s for the night before heading out again, but I knew I couldn’t leave without saying hello.  Onrik, this is one of my travelling companions, Bluey. Bluey, this is Ferinia’s father, Onrik.” Astra gestured between the blue dragonborn and Ferinia's father as she introduced them.

“H-hello,” Bluey replied shyly.

“Come in, come in, no need to be a stranger.  Especially since you might be waiting with me for a little bit,” he patted Bluey on the arm.  “Thulmir, come on, take a break!”

The drow wiped sweat from his brow and began to head over.

“How’s he working out?” Astra asked Onrik quietly.

“Good kid, hard worker--” he started but was interrupted by a sudden shout from the door.

“Hey!” Ferinia scowled from the doorway but her eyes were playful. “Get over here!”

Astra flew forward with a grin, rushing into Ferinia’s arms.  She couldn’t stop the giddy laughter from escaping her mouth. She placed her forehead against Ferinia’s and took in the scent and warmth of home.  She managed to pull herself back to reality. “F, this is Bluey. Bluey, this is my partner, Ferinia.”

Ferinia didn’t take her eyes off Astra but replied, “Nice to meet you. I’m going to take her for a bit. I hope you don’t mind.” She took Astra’s hand and led her inside.

“I’ll be back soon!” Astra called back to Bluey.  She quickly followed Ferinia up to their bedroom where the door was promptly locked behind them.  Their clothes quickly found their way to the floor and their bodies found their way to the bed.

Astra had needed this as much as Ferinia did. She knew she couldn’t stay, but for half a second, she fantasised about what life would be like if she could.  Taking care of the drow kids really made her wish that they could’ve, but… There was no point in making herself sad by dwelling on the things that might never be.  

She lightly stroked Ferinia’s shoulder.  “I never got an answer about Ender’s party, _d’anthe uss_.”

Ferinia pursed her lips and stared into Astra’s eyes.

Astra kept her face neutral.

Ferinia scowled at her lack of a tell.  “Is it important to you?”

“Well, to be honest, I’ve never met him.  I was made his godparent via a letter from my father, so… no, I’d suppose not,” Astra sighed.

“Can I send Thulmir in my place?” Ferinia’s body tensed.

Astra chuckled and kissed her forehead.  She held in her disappointment.  “Sure.” She held Ferinia close, not wanting to let go.

“I love you.”

“I know. And I love you too.”

“If you’d rather--”

“It is fine, really. There will be other parties, _d’anthe uss_.”

“Thank you for understanding.” Ferinia’s body relaxed once more in her arms and she nuzzled her face up against Astra’s bare chest. “Where are you staying tonight?”

“I’ssuri’s working in the Forest district right now, so we’re staying with her.”

“Who all is 'we'?”

“Well, you kind of met Bluey. But there’s also Neph, Kas, and Brian.”

“Yeah… definitely don’t have the room for that many here. Barely have room for us and Thulmir, but he’s been good to have around.  How did you find him again?”

“He tried to kill us. He and his brother were bandits, along with several others.  We managed to scare away the others, but he kept fighting. We captured him and learned his story, and I told him that if he really did want an honest life where people would respect him, he should come here.  And you know the rest.”

“I would say that I can’t believe that you did that, but no, that sounds _exactly_ like you.”  Ferinia reached up and tapped Astra on the nose.  She gave Astra a warm smile that emanated from her heart.  “My soft-hearted lovely, you are too good for this world.”

Astra chuckled, “I try.”  She took a deep breath and stretched out.  “I should be going. Bluey’s waiting, and we have to trek back to the Forest district before nightfall.”

Ferinia clung to her hand, fingers intertwined together, as Astra got up to get dressed.

There was a long pause, in which they had a silent conversation, an echo of many they'd had before.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just… I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“I understand.  It just… sucks.”

“I know, __d’anthe uss,__  I know.  Perhaps one day.”

Ferinia was the first to break the silence, to finish the conversations past. “I know.”  She gave Astra’s hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing it. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Astra replied. She put on her clothes at half the speed with which she’d taken them off.  It wasn’t much, but it was more time.

Ferinia continued to sit on the bed with a pensive expression, making no effort to put her clothes back on.

Astra knelt before Ferinia and took her hands in hers.  “It’s okay.”

Ferinia nodded.  Her fiery eyes met Astra’s and all the hesitation in them vanished.  She smiled and pressed her forehead to Astra’s. “Come back to me.”

“I will.   _Always_.” Astra kissed her and then got to her feet.  She closed the door behind her and went to down gather Thulmir and Bluey to head back to the Merciful Bachelor in Forest district of Ironstone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently, this is the last time Astra saw Ferinia and happened not too long before the events of "Guilt" from the Emotions in Aprea chapters
> 
> translation for Astra's pet name for Ferinia is "dear one"


End file.
